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This blog is to take ALL the mystery out of Orbital MALT Lymphoma and to share my experiences with others diagnosed with the same cancer.

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Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Final Mile



Well…it’s time to update my journey with Orbital Malt Lymphoma. With my OCPD I’ve been hesitant to continuously jabber about every little milestone, stumbling onward until a summary of my journey slowly accumulated, making more sense to whomever reads the blog.

During my previous updates, decorating my radiation mask was on the agenda. At this time, I have no plans on creating something beautiful or scary. Looking at the mask in my walk-in attic, sitting on its personal chair, still gives me the creepy shivers and I haven’t gotten warm ‘n fuzzy with the idea of spending any more time than necessary with the beastly contraption. Guess I could take a hammer to the indestructible mask but I don’t have the heart to sling a tool and needlessly bang-on a protective device that actually was instrumental in shrinking my eye tumor. So the mask will stay on the chair in the attic to remind me that I have to be thankful for all its help and even though lymphoma is never truly cured, if necessary, I have it inside my being to don the mask once again.

So here it goes….

If you are reading this blog and have been diagnosed with OML take a deep breath and know that the experience that I’ve had with the disease is my own personal journey. With all the misinformation swirling around the web, scaring the heebie jeebies out of us that has been diagnosed with OML, I don’t want to make your journey seem more difficult or anxious.  Hearing the ‘c’ verdict and the claustrophobic procedure of treatment is mind-boggling enough without dosing additional health dilemmas and miniscule beauty tribulations to the worry pile. And even though in this update you’ll read plights that has occurred since the conclusion of my radiation treatment, you will also see how I have found my own personal remedies for each distressing bump in the road.

(Disclaimer: The following information is not to be taken for medical advice. Contact your healthcare provider for detailed information on your health and wellness treatments.)

LYMPHOMA & IMMUNE SYSTEM 
Looking back, I have absolutely no idea why I didn’t properly connect the dots to lymphoma and a severe impaired immune system. For some reason, getting rid of the tumor meant that my body would quickly recover back to normal. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach when my oncologist read my first blood work report a month after finishing my radiation treatment. To be frank, my immune system was off the charts, down to the lowest of lows. In fact, when my family physician read the report he was shocked. He had never seen a body immune system report that didn’t even register on the charts. A vitamin deficiency blood test was ordered to see what additional supplements could possibly help me to stay well. I agreed to the testing. I also informed the doctor that since I had been diagnosed with lymphoma, my hubby had begun pushing all sorts of supplements down my throat. It seemed like every other day another supplement would arrive in the mail. The time period of taking the vitamins was an incredible thirty minutes at a time. I was drinking so much water before bed that a visit to the porcelain goddess was a frequent affair. And the vitamin report came back with no deficiencies.



FOOD & GERMS 
The most important discussion with the oncologist was changing my eating habits, food preparation techniques and watching closely for places where germs reside. Now this OCPD gal didn’t need to be reminded about germs. I have accumulated so many books about germs that there is actually a germ section in my hubby’s office. And I personally need to purchase stock in a hand sanitizer lotion company. This gal doesn’t venture into bowls of party chips or peanuts. And shaking hands is a big no-no. I had the doc’s germ order taken care of right out of the starting gate and tons of informative books about the sneaky unseen bugs to keep me busy for awhile.

My eating habits and food preparation had to change. One thing I learned during my treatment was tumors love sugar. A cancer test to locate tumors was an intravenously glucose sugar high. Tumors raced to the sugar first. Tumor + sugar spelled trouble. Also, my medium-rare steak had to go. No sunny, over-easy eggs. All foods had to be thoroughly cooked and there is nothing as unappealing as a well-done steak or overcooked egg but bacteria in foods that won’t harm a healthy individual can wreck havoc on an impaired immune system. Darn, no sushi. Now was time to diligently rinse and wash the veggies. Peeling fruit was a hazard waiting to happen, so it was constant scrubbing before using a knife since bacteria from the skin can easily contaminate the fruit to be eaten. In my daily life, preparing food had become an overdone chore and time consuming obligation.



WILD OIL OF OREGANO 
Desperate to find a way to stay well and avoid the next step of IVIG Therapy, this gal decided to Facebook post my dilemma. Immediately I had two friends who responded, experiencing the same immune system problem but in different scenarios - one had Lyme disease, the other an allergy to all antibiotics. Both of their Wellness doctors recommended, ‘Wild Oil of Oregano’ and I decided to give the herb oil a try. (Keep in mind, that this is not the same as grocery store oregano, its wild and known for its antibiotic properties, no known side effects.) You can read more: http://curingherbs.com/wild_oregano_oil.htm

After taking WOO for over a year, on my last visit to the oncologist, he’s amazed that I haven’t been suffering from bouts of illnesses and haven’t had to take the IVIG Therapy. My white blood count is almost back to normal and my immune system is on the rise. I credit the Wild Oil of Oregano. The doctor is so interested in how WOO produces natural antibodies for the immune system he is doing his own personal research.



HOW TO TAKE WOO 
Wild Oil of Oregano is from the mint family. Very strong tasting and I’ve slowly acquire a taste for the herb. To start taking WOO, a couple drops of the oil in a glass of water twice/day. I increased the dosage of the oil drops slowly over time, reaching 7 drops. At this time, I’m putting the oil directly under my tongue and then drinking a glass of water. I’ve stayed well with only two bouts of illness and recovered quickly, like a normal person with a normal immune system. I am a believer in WOO. Thanks Roxie and Laurie! xoxo



BEAUTY TIPS

Being a woman concern with her looks, there were some major hurdles to overcome. I faithfully used the Aquaphor the radiologist recommended during the radiation treatment but soon discovered that the heavy cream clogged pores. Through trial and error I found solutions that worked for me.

EyelashesIn previous posts, concern about losing my eyelashes raised my alarm level. Radiation therapy did make my left-side eyelashes thin. For special events, I quickly learned to apply false eyelashes to make both eyes appear the same. Then I discovered a miracle in a bottle, Emu Oil. On days when I didn’t wear makeup or right before bed, I’d dab on the oil. In no time, my lashes grew fuller and longer. I am in love with Emu Oil as you’ll soon find out.

To make my lashes look fuller without applying false eyelashes, Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Gel Eyeliner works wonders. I do recommend you purchasing the Bobbi Brown eyeliner brush since it makes the gel makeup easier to apply. If you’ve never used gel eyeliner, I recommend an appointment with a professional makeup artist at Sephora – it’s free.

Hair – During and after my radiation treatments, I paid a lot of attention to my bangs and the hair on the side that was getting radiated, but didn’t pay extreme close attention to the rest of my hair. Then one day my hubby asked, ‘Why are you losing so much hair?’ Yep, my blonde hair was getting thinner, dropping unnoticed on the bathroom tile floor, not big chunks but steadily breaking off. Having a thick head of hair all my life, the thought of thinning put my OCPD mind in overdrive. Applying Moroccan Argan Oil Shampoo and Conditioner made my hair so soft and smelling delish. And finding Pantene, AgeDefy hair remedy did the final trick. My hair stopped breaking off, my bangs and the radiated side of my hair grew thicker and fuller. I had fortunately found another miracle or two in a bottle.

Nails – I quickly learned that having an immune disorder and nail fungus go hand-in-hand or toe-to-toe. Appointments at a neighborhood nail salon is a big ‘no no.’ Yes, I could find a reputable day spa in my area where the tools and equipment are thoroughly cleansed after every client, but the only drawback is the nail polish needs to be removed weekly to check for fungal infections. To cheer myself up, an online search of the wealthiest women and critiquing their nails, found that the majority never ever use polish but buff their nails to a shine. For example: photos of Princess Kate and the new prince, her nails are buffed not polished. The lower the income….the more fake or nail deco…so I took a trip to the nearest beauty supply store in my area and got all the goodies that was needed to buff my nails to a shine. Now I feel like a queen! My podiatrist’s recommendation: apply Tea Tree Oil twice daily with a Q-tip to keep the annoying fungus away.

Ears - Sadly to say, the radiation treatment damaged my hearing ability. I've always had a little difficulty in hearing high pitch sounds but now....it's time for hearing aids and tomorrow is the big day.

Skin – I really don’t know how you can sum-up dry…dry..dry. The radiation therapy gave my skin a severe case of dryness. Personally, I’ve always loved the Glytone Retexturize Body Lotion. It is one of the best lotions in the cosmetic industry. It is a moderately expensive lotion to use but does a fantastic job with skin issues, brown spots, dryness, etc. At this time, I alternate Glytone RBL and Moroccan Argan Oil Lotion. I always finish up my skin treatment with a smidgen of Emu Oil on top of the lotion. Don’t ever forget, even without radiation treatment, it’s an ongoing issue to keep the skin soft as you age.

Face – The face needs to be treated a lot more gentle than skin. Remember to always thoroughly wash hands before touching the face. I’ve found a wonderful skin cleanser, Avalon Organics, CoQ10 Repair, at my local supermarket and it’s taken the place of one of my expensive facial cleansers.

After cleansing my face, I make a paste out of good old baking soda and water, apply it to my face and allow the mixture to dry for 3 – 5 minutes, gently wash off and pat dry. Then use a nighttime moisturizer but add a few drops of vitamin oils to the cream – A, E & C. The best moisturizer I’ve found for dry skin, First Aid Beauty, Ultra Repair Cream. This cream is a thick, rich, emollient product that hydrates deep down with exceptional penetration – skin so soft.

I never forget to dot on Emu Oil over the cream concoction to seal the deal. Among Emu Oil’s top 10 properties that have been investigated scientifically includes its ability to penetrate the skin, will not clog pores, and is composed of essential fatty acids or those basic building blocks the skin needs to make repairs and other compounds. Love…love Emu Oil!

Eyes – Swelling under the eyes can occur during and after radiation treatment. I’ve found that eye products containing caffeine are the best to eliminate any under eye puffiness. I use the Glytone Eye Cream at night and Lancombe, Genifique Yeux before applying makeup.

I have fallen in love with Bobbi Brown, Corrector & Creamy Concealer Kit and this under the eye makeup successfully camouflages dark circles and helps to disguise eye puffiness. I recommend an appointment with a professional makeup artist at Sephora – it’s free.

And of course, I always dab on a bit of Emu Oil for those lashes before putting on my sleeping eye mask. Radiation is the culprit of dry eyes and eye drops before slipping on the mask gives the eyes a refreshing break while slumbering.

Always remember, take the journey one-step at a time and mentally don’t ever get ahead of schedule during treatment, for it’s the best way to travel down the road in dealing with lymphoma. Hopefully, some of the information given to you today will make your radiation treatment a little easier to trek. 

May God Bless & Keep You! xoxo 

What Cancer Cannot Do
Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit.
~Author Unknown ~



 

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Final Cancer Scan


Last Thursday was the 'big event.' After a series of blood tests, an oncologist visit, I was on my way to the Methodist Hospital, nervous and anticipating the full-body cancer scan. 

I'm not a big fan of needles and the nervousness grew waiting for the assistant to appear in the small room.  Wearing a hospital gown, sweating and thinking. Pacing, humming and examining the sterile room did zero to calm my anxiety. Needles and tomb-like contraptions that constantly clang (making a gal wonder if a weird entity is doing its best to join in the fun) happens to not be on my favorite activity list.

I admit it. I overreacted on the before thought of the scan but I did mention that I'm not a big fan of being stuck and entombed. 

Overall, it wasn't so bad. She injected a glucose solution into my veins and said "no reading or thinking." What? I was supposed to remain calm with no worries? 'Yep', she had the nerve to say. The brain has the potential to use the glucose. If the brain consumes its fill before the tumors get a bite, it's another dose. Tumors are 'hungry lil buggers' and relaxing - not thinking - would give 'first nibbles' to the life invaders. 

Say no more. I'm calm. With the help of the glucose, my mind went to another zone – sugar euphoria. The glucose injection made me feel as if I'd eaten a large holiday, carb-filled meal. Blissfully, in a sugar sleep state, remembering only 1% of the ordeal, it was divine.

Afterwards, the 3-hour wait for the oncologist's results went fast. My hubby is the 'bestest.' He kept me entertained. I know bestest is not a word but it's my word to describe him. Throughout my cancer ordeal, my hubby has been a constant companion. Keeping the schedules organized for my treatment, he'd wake me up every morning to the smell of coffee and breakfast. Reminding me to 'pop' my anxiety pill and connect my IPOD, he'd whisk me to the car, urge me to sleep during the ride to the appointment, deposit me at the radiation sign-up desk to begin treatment and then he'd wait. After treatment with a drink and snack for me in his hand, we'd begin the journey home, I'd sleep, and he'd begin his workday. Not once did I hear him complain. 

I've always known. He's my fiercest defender. Without a glance or verbal acknowledgement to offenders, he'll stand by my side. I've often asked him why he doesn't see a friend anymore and he'll say, "Why? If someone has the audacity to be rude to you…that person isn't a very good friend to me." That's my hubby. He's my protector helping me survive life.  With his help, I survived cancer. My hubby is my best friend. He is the 'bestest.'

In the oncologist's office, once again anxiety reared its ugly head. My hubby picks up an outdated magazine and begins to read out loud events that happened years ago. Giving him my desperate look, he grins, "What?" Without saying a word, he knows. The magazine dear…how old is the darn magazine? He promptly shows me the cover and informs me that it's not outdated but a 'classic.' He continues to read. We are laughing when the doctor comes into the room. She's impressed. Another example on what I mean about my hubby being the bestest. Left on my own, sitting here waiting, I'd probably burst into tears, thinking the worst and now I am laughing about a magazine, before my oncologist gives me news about the results. 

When she smiles - I know. When she begins the congrats - it sinks in. I'm cancer-free.

I did the happy dance down the halls of the Methodist Hospital. Those who really know me know I care less what others think, and by the way, that counts double when I'm in a happy mood dance mode. If you're a stranger and I'll never see you again, that counts triple, so the happy dance continued down to the parking garage. My motto: Life is too short; don't let others steal your joy!

Dancing down to the car, my hubby smiled. He cares less what others think too. Loves the child in me. Loves me for being me. He loves to see the cancer-free happy dance. I'm a lucky gal!

The oncologist stated the symptoms I am having as normal for radiation in the orbital area:
1)      Occasionally upon waking, noticing the left-side/under the eye/ bruise discoloration and swelling.
2)      Upon waking, left-eye tears. Tearing helps to protect the retina.
3)      Energy level not fully recovered. Recommends rest. Finding a positive outlet for exercise to increase the energy level.
4)      Headaches relieve with Advil.
5)      Hair and lashes continue to slightly thin. No worries. Both will come back.

Waterfall
A life is an endless stream.
Yeah there are rapids
but most people don't get to the waterfall
well we did!
We will fight together
to get through this endless nightmare.
Together we will fight this
and make it back safe from this waterfall.


Monday, January 16, 2012

Last Radiation Treatment



Today was my last radiation treatment for Orbital MALT Lymphoma. The doctor quoted a time span for the radiation to leave my body, 3 weeks. I'm looking forward to stop wearing sunglasses wherever there are fluorescent or bright lights, being able to enjoy the sunny days outside, wearing make-up and obtaining my energy level again. 

In the beginning, silence in dealing with cancer was the best alternative and then, my daughter and closest friends encouraged me to share my experience with others. To be honest, I was petrified of having OML, worried that people would maliciously gossip and I'd walk into a store, meet an individual and discover horrific rumors circulating around town – already one foot in the grave, hairless, blind in one eye - you name it. Ha-ha. With the help of loving friends and family, I decided to swallow my pride. 

One certain friend, KBL, was the main inspiration. Sending wonderful personal prayers, her faith in God, truly touched my heart. She is the most beautiful individual – inside and out – and her faith inspired me to reach out to others. Reaching out to friends was the best decision. Thanks to all of my wonderful friends for being there for me!  Suffering with a small group isn't the answer. Sharing with others has been the best solution to seeing me through these uncertain times. 

Researching on the internet was the main factor on creating my blog for OML. Frightening information about the disease sent me into frenzy. Was it true or false? The best way to arrive with the truth was to write about my experience. Being an asthmatic, claustrophobic and vain woman relating her experience with radiation treatments had the initial drama of the posts I had read on the internet.  I wanted to write truthfully about the mask, the radiation treatments, and debunk misinformation. I sincerely hope that the blog will help other OML patients on their journey to healing, giving faith and encouragement.

Wagging the mask through the medical center and to the parking garage was an uplifting walk. It was mine to do with as I please. The radiation team laughed when I asked about making it a piƱata. Hanging it from a tree and using a big stick seemed a perfectly normal reaction to a claustrophobic and asthmatic individual who has not gotten warm and cuddly with the snap down mask. Found out, it's next to impossible to shatter the darn thing into smithereens so….decorating is still on the agenda. Ha-ha. Stay tuned for the created mask – scary or sweet – who knows?

For those with OML: Recovering from radiation treatments, around my left eye, it looks as if it has sunburned and there is a feeling of a dull ache.  The information from the doctor: the redness will worsen during the healing period and itch. It's important not to rub or scratch the eye. Cataracts are on the agenda. No hot or cold packs for the eye so sometimes I cheat with a quick swipe of very warm water on my face during the shower. (I'll be so glad to hold my face under the shower and let the water flow.) Absolutely NO make-up applied. Didn't realize metals are in make-up and the chance of melanoma is increased. Sunglasses worn outside and during shopping since the eye needs added protection. The skin is dry (all over body) and the radiation team handed out samples with coupons and recommended a lotion, Aquaphor.
The Vain Thing: The first thing I do each morning is to look in the mirror to check to see if my bangs and eyelashes are still intact. So far, the bangs have thinned a bit but my lashes are still batting. I'll definitely blog if upon waking one morning my bangs, splotches of hair or lashes disappear. Ha-ha.

In six weeks, a scheduled MRI scan to guarantee I'm cancer-free and I know the waiting for the end results will be the hardest. I'll fill my days with a little primping, enjoying the sunshine, pruning roses and catching up on gardening. Time will go by quickly if I stop to smell the roses and remember the love and support that's in place for my recovery. I'm so thankful for my supportive hubby, friends and family. My life is sweeter and richer because of 'you.'  

Since today was my last day of treatment, the tradition at the Methodist Hospital is to take a photo and read out loud to those in the waiting area an affirmation written on a plaque that's hanging on a wall, and then ring the bell three times. After a round of applause, hoots and congratulations for completing treatments, and with the mask in tow, I whispered a prayer for those still fighting the battle of cancer.  Walking out of the double doors, I looked up at my hubby, smiling, "Ladies and gentlemen! May I have your attention, please! Brenda, has now left the building."

On my doorstep, a gorgeous arrangement of lilies and freesias welcomed me home. My thoughtful and sweet daughter with these loving words of encouragement touched my heart. 'Congratulations on your last treatment! Your bravery and strength has amazed me. You are truly an inspiration to me and I am so lucky to be able to call you my mother.'  In an adaption to Romans 8:31, if my family and friends are for me, who can be against me?  I am ONE LUCKY gal!



Self-Pity by D H Lawrence
 I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Radiation Sessions


First Day of Radiation

 Radiation treatment at the Dunn Towers began this morning. To be honest, I freaked two times with the onset of the mask. The radiologist insisting additional calming meds gave me the 'oomph' to go into a deep breathing mode to calm myself down. After the removal of the mask it shrank as it dried. The mask felt so tight on my face, it was mashing down my nose making me even more claustrophobic. 

On the third attempt, I had enough courage for the snaps to stay bolted down to the table - it is a table, not a bed. In fact, it is a very hard table designed especially for radiation – color coded. Artistic looking table with a steel frame. 

My daughter, Monique, is designing special songs for my radiation treatment. Isn't she sweet? It'll make my time spent on the bed of steel, strapped and snapped down, a little bit easier to endure.


Onward I go…'Ho Ho Ho.'
  
Star Dust

heart's desire
sired us
but can stardust
cure the virus
that the spirits
gave a meaning
while my head
was dreaming
screaming in
a frame mainly
chained I was
forced to lie
myself awake
she tells me when
they make mistakes
people die in here

Second Day of Radiation

For a while now, I have been frightened to go out and about with all the colds and sicknesses going around in the crowds.  The thought of being ill during my radiation treatments – under the mask - keeps me continuously dousing my hands with sanitizer.  Thoughts of a stuffy nose or a hacking cough wearing the mask sends chills of dread down my spine - rather be safe than sorry.

For years, the traditional handshake eliminated from greeting others always requires an explanation. I have gotten many strange looks during this time. But that is okay! I get queasy with the thought of where or what the hand touched before being extended for me to shake. Being a germ phobic is part of my D.N.A.. In addition, I am proud to say that all these years (even with immune deficiency disorder) head colds and viruses have eluded me until now. Saying now because one of my doctors explained to me that Orbital MALT Lymphoma is a cancer caused by a virus or bacteria. Other doctors say that it is a genetic cancer. Time will tell.

My hubby has a different viewpoint on going into the world and has insisted 'it does the body good.'  After two days with radiation and a metal taste in my mouth, he is more concerned with nutrition. He thinks every day after treatment, a nutritional bite to eat is more important than worries about issues that may never happen. I am trying to agree, even if I am hesitant.

My nurse weighs me in every day during appointment time and today noticed a 3-lb drop since yesterday. Do not know if it is because when nervous, food thoughts disappear or the metallic taste in my mouth or the radiation itself.

During the radiation, I see bright flashing lights and hear the radiation with an automatic machine gun sound. Sometimes a high pitch, the other times it is a low sound, always-rapid sounds go through your head. The bed moves into position, x-rays given to Dr. Blanco to study, and then another session starts. As I have said before, the bed is made of steel and very hard. Even the headrest is rock solid making laying down flat very uncomfortable.

I am feeling worse today. Tired and my ears are hurting. A friend says that is a sign to alert the doctor to guaranty no hearing loss - first on my agenda of questions. Even though my eye is sore and a headache from wearing the mask, I am feeling optimistic...no upset stomach or a dizzy head.

I am so thankful for my family and friends for keeping me in their prayers!

Third Day of Radiation

Radiation caught-up with me today. On a positive note: the sweets I am baking for Christmas don't appeal to my taste buds. Guess it will keep the sugary calories at bay. I will have 3 days off for the holidays, returning for radiation therapy on Tuesday. I'm hoping my taste buds and stomach settles down to enjoy the Christmas meal.
Have a Merry Christmas! Love to all! xoxo

Second Week of Radiation

The holidays postponed my treatment until Tuesday. On Christmas day, the food tasted delicious and I ate slowly, but an hour later, it did not stay down. I have found drinking beverages helps the queasiness and for some reason orange juice settles my stomach - so does nibbling on ginger cookies.

I was dreading going back under the mask. Once again, I panicked and the radiologist team was patient, waiting for the fear to subside. I have found taking my calming meds one hour before arriving at the hospital works better than thirty minutes before treatment. I am calmer arriving and during the mask treatment.

My fears has lessened since receiving an iPod Nano for Christmas. Timing the songs with the length of the treatment is actually helping. The scariest part is hearing the snaps go into place and footsteps leaving you all alone in the treatment room. It is a helpless feeling. Keeping the mind busy with the sound of music makes it more tolerable.

As the week went on...I got braver. Hopefully, this coming week, it'll be a piece of cake to snap 'n go without a care in the world.

This poem is dedicated to the friends I have met recently. Some have lost all their hair...even a child. Keep them in your prayers!

No One 

Author: Mary Winton - Trimar

No one said it was going to be easy
No one said it was going to be fair
No one said it was going to be breezy
But they did say I would lose my hair


No one said I would ever be pretty
No one said I would ever be smart
No one said I would ever be witty
But they do say I have a good heart

No one said that there wouldn’t be crying
No one said that there wouldn’t be fears
No one said that there wouldn’t be trying
But they did say I’d be around for years

No one said that the doctor is right
No one said that the doctor is wrong
No one said that the doctor is trite
But they do say you have to be strong

No one knows what tomorrow will show
No one knows what next week will unfold
No one knows what will happen in an hour from now
But they did say you now have control


Third Week of Radiation 
 
This week it seems that every time I become still, I fall asleep – very tired. In the car, coming home from the treatments is naptime and I have to fight to stay awake. Sometimes, I feel a presence and look out from beneath the electric blanket and it's my husband checking to see if I am still alive and kicking. Ha-ha.  Smile and nod back to sleep. Guess it the time to get sleep nourishment for healing.

My appetite increased over the weekend but after the second day of radiation, it once again declined and only certain foods calmed the queasiness. For Christmas, my husband received a Yonanas that makes fruit the texture of soft-serve ice cream. I have found the taste so inviting! Knowing that I am eating healthy during treatment is a bonus when snacking. I urge everyone to try the machine! It's delicious!

I have met so many wonderful people during treatment time. We sit down and wait for our appointment call while doing our best to finish a large puzzle in the waiting area. Everyone knows exactly how many sessions the other has to finish and it's always a countdown. If it's the last few days, it's hands-up time. During this time, I have met a wonderful woman fighting breast cancer with so much spirit; it has made my sickness seem so small in comparison. Friday was her last day and I will miss her not being there but at the same time, so ecstatic that her prognosis is excellent for recovering. There is one thing about surviving cancer, it creates a bond with others fighting and succeeding to beat the disease. You walk away knowing, 'hope.'

Good news! The radiation treatment has decreased the size of the tumor- it is now less than half the size. I have seen a little thinning of my bangs. Keeping fingers crossed that it stays intact. Dr. Blanco has repeatedly stated that my hair may thin with minimum hair loss. 

I'm still not a fan of the mask. Was hoping through time, the feel of the hard plastic material and familiarity of the snapping sounds to the table would create a security blanket bond but 'nope.' With the assistance of my daughter, and when the treatment is all over, I'm going to have fun decorating the mask. Lately, I have wondered if the finished design of the mask will be scary or sweet. 'Hmmm, we will see.' Will definitely post the final design – stay tuned.

God Heals

Remember when you heard the words -
and your mind went blank - you were in another world
God heals
Remember in your darkest hours -
when all that surrounds you is pain and sorrow
God heals
Remember friends' prayers - your family's encouragement
- glimmers of hope from everyday angels
God heals
Quiet...you can hear Him now -
always there - yet never this close
God heals
It's just another day -

Friday, December 16, 2011

Making the Radiation Mask

The team of physicists decided to redesign my radiation mask after reviewing the new MRI. Being concerned with my fair skin, the decision was made to also mask my chest. So today it was a restart...late...until all of the physicists' time were clear to proceed. The following photos were taken by one of the mask makers. The mask making time: approximately 1 hour & 45 minutes. With calming meds, it wasn't as frightening to me. The MRI for 2 hours with my face clamped into a helmet and a solid board on my chest...beat the mask making process by a point or two.:)


 Let's Get Started!

Physicist and Dr.Blanco marking points for radiation.

The white 't' are clamps that will secure me to the board.

Radiation calculations being marked on orange spongy pad.



The Mask

A hot, moist mesh covered my face & chest.
Eyes and mouth MUST remain closed at all time.

The fabric slowly begins to dry and then shrink.
You are placed in the machine for the air to dry it faster.

The white dots are helping to form the mask.

The mask continues to shrink, forming tightly to my face.
The fabric turns rigid and hard. Making it difficult to breathe.



AND THEN!!!! 

The Final Mask!!



Mask Maker 1


Mask Maker 2


Special MRI for Radiation  Points


Now the easy part begins! Radiation five days/week for 3-4 weeks,wearing my radiation mask for only 15-30 minutes. 
No sweat! Soon, it'll be my security mask..not! LOL

The Mask
We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,--
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be overwise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!